As a bit of an intro in case you’re new here, in July of 2018 my husband, daughter and I moved provinces to be closer to my family. It’s about a 10 hour drive from Calgary to Chilliwack so it’s not something I would be able to regularly do to still see my friends.
I had lived in Calgary for practically a decade this time, previously six years from age nine to 15, so it was home.
But my parents are in Chilliwack and my grandparents are in the next town over so why not uproot for the sake of Violet.
Well, come autumn I was not exactly feeling the Fraser Valley life anymore. I realized that once again my happiness was sacrificed for everyone else in my life. Which is what had happened when I was 15 and my parents decided to up and move us back to BC.
I talked to Max about it and he said he would start looking for job in Calgary because he just wanted me to be happy. I was over the moon, we could go back! Immediate dread and anxiety settled in my stomach as I realized I’d at some point have to tell my parents.
Fast forward to now (mid-January 2020) and we’re still here. My parents know we’re looking to move, they’re considering moving too since my brother lives about and hour and a half from Calgary and has four daughters so all the grandkids would be in Alberta. But Max hasn’t yet gotten a job – despite applying to loads – and I’ve been putting off doing certain things “in case” we move. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting on what if, waiting on the “when?” When are we going to move, when will I be able to go to knit night again, when will I be able to go for ice cream with my friends, when will I be able to go on outings with Violet with friends with kids?
And I realized it could take a long ass time. Or it could happen today. But ultimately I don’t know when, so I need to start just living life here and when it happens it happens. I need to unpack the last few boxes, make our house feel like home with artwork and organization. I need to look into gymnastics classes for Violet instead of waiting until we eventually move. Time doesn’t wait so why should I?
So now I ask you, what are you waiting for?